Soulmate Healing One Day at a Time

Rumi, was a 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mysticption. Much is written about him.

I am seeking a lot of answers, clarification, and definitions from the universe at large, THE Source, or the Huge Glorious Entity I think of as God. I think God expects us to use resources available to us. So in my search, I read, read, read, sometimes interact. I ask a lot of questions, sometimes almost falling into Field Interviewer mode again.

Sometimes if I read a concept or advisory several times from different sources--well, it starts to sink in. The two current most repeated messages from random sources are: 1st; You must love yourself   2nd; You must be AWARE.

So, I had a day off and decided to "Love My Body" thanks to Mali and Joe via The Soulmate Experience, Chapter 2.

Here is what I did:-) bounder about 5 min, exercise with my coach (85 year old mother) 45 min, then I went for an untimed solo canyon walk.

True to my nature I was attracted to some ruins and noted that the concrete staircase going nowhere reminded me of early post Katrina days, as the dilapidated house reminded me of my early REALTOR days following Katrina.

                                                                                            

Oddly, when I noted the fairly new looking mailbox in front of the dilapidated house I recalled that some places in Alabama remove the mailboxes when a home is unoccupied. (knowledge obtained during a Field Assignment). I also noted that the ground was well fertilized and that though the Horned Toads seem to have moved to friendlier pastures, the Cacti remain.

I continued my solo walk enjoying a glourious day with a perfect blue sky and perfect temperature. Just me, God, and the birds. I lifted my arms and broke out in a song of praise and immediately started crying so hard I couldn't sing. The Soul Doctor was in.

The insight drew me to my knees. It used to be my habit to walk solo, sing and praise.  Well, an incident happened at the church I was attending and I didn't go back. It broke my heart but I felt I couldn't return and I couldn't talk to anyone about it because it would have caused strife in the church. I thought I could maintain a close relationship with God without church, but little by little my praise came less and less often.

Fast forward, fast forward--I had developed a very close, intimate long distance relationship with a person whom at one time we both thought we were soulmates, or even "twin souls". It seemed we were compatible, agreeable, loving and connected. We looked forward to being together. One day, he turned his back on me. Where there were plans, there was nothing. In place of communication, connectiveness and companionship was vast piercing feelings of abandonment, loneliness and confusion.

I didn't have to ask. I knew at that moment in the canyon when I was crying so hard I couldn't sing, that God wanted me to understand how it feels when I, and other humans, His children, turn their backs on Him and won't talk to Him.

Now, dusty, dirty, but feeling cleansed I headed to

(continued at An American in Borger, TX )

 

Learning from SoulMate Experiences... Ongoing

Couples, relationships, communication and even more specifically Soul Mate relationships --is much too large for me to handle on my own.   You can quickly see--I need help (sarcasm not allowed here, ok?). One of the first things I did was to assess the origination of my "discomfort", ok--we can call it pain. Then find people who have successfully navigated such tough times. If you have SoulMate issues, I recommend you join me, here. 

Many people recommend relationship therapy. I do too; especially if you can afford it. If "we" can't afford therapy then we need to do the next best thing.

Research, Read, write, share. We need to assemble our tools and resources to do the best we can. 

Speaking of learning...I don't remember where I read it -- but one of my sources indicated that it is not unusual for Soul Mates to be at opposite ends of the spectrum--meaning that fireworks is not unusual, and, we are not referring to intimate fireworks (which I expect would be common, but--what would I know?). Reading between the lines--if the Twin Flame concept is born of Greek Mythology based on the truth of the time--I reckon we could expect some flaming arrows being shot around cyber space. Is that logical or what?

For some reason I like to try first defining concepts I plan to research. Why re-invent the wheel? For a good grounding I read many sources for definitions. Personally I like Urban Dictionary and the following great instruction the best, though all were worthwhile.

I confirm as I suspected--there are many types of "Soul Mate" connections, some for different purposes and durations. Some, I have experienced so fleeting yet so intense, deep, and powerful--that I was shaken to the depth of my soul--that the soul purpose was to remind me of the existence of a Higher Power, Providence, God--and not to doubt that I am special. (that may sound silly, but if you are me it is totally logical). Really, nothing builds me up as much and as quickly as an experience or human encounter that was obviousy ordained or Providentially inspired. Its like God tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Remember, I AM here." (Hey--this is HUGE. I just figured out where the Great IAM originated from)

...Ok. I'll give you a for instance. Once while working as a Field Interviewer on a study I was somewhere in Florida working a census block. I was knocking on every door doing a quick type of canvass. My reception was good considering the fact that I was interrupting people in their homes. At the end of a subdivision, a man answered the door. I assumed he was some type of clergy because he had a high collar and a cross on. I explained the purpose of the study. He did not qualify. The whole time I maintained eye contact. I noted that he had blue circles around brown centers. I wondered if he knew that I was thinking about his eyes rather than my study. When I concluded my business and started to take my leave--he told ME, "thank you for your service."

I made it to my car before I broke down and cried buckets of cleansing tears. As a Field Interviewer, I receive a lot of mixed reactions--this assignment was no different, but it WAS trying. It was hot, humid and we were covering a lot of turf. There was the usual research mix--strangers happy that someone was doing something, strangers berating us for being a part of a study that used money...I still remember his eyes. I talked to hundreds of people randomly and I still remember his eyes.

According to definition, it seems the Soul Mate connection that many people long for, search for, dream and sing about is the illusive Twin Flame.

Why should you stick it out with me at least for a little while on this research journey? We both can do our own Google searches... Most of what I have to say I learned from a search or painful personal experience... You could save time in your search by enjoying the results of mine, first. Does that make sense?

Sometimes the lessons are tough, and painful. But, the lessons always help us define what we want and what is and is not acceptable in a "Mate" of any caliber or definition. Just remember that it is you (me) that must stand again, dust ourselves off, and continue on our journey. As a Soul Mate once said to me, "Smile. Breathe. That Simple." Life goes on. No need for drama.

First, let's set the stage with some "Soul Mate" music...
This song by Josh Turner makes us all crave to find the Soul Mate.

and add a different artist for balance:-)

OK. Enough of the grieving and pining. Sometimes we misinterpret what we consider to be Providential blessing. We may need to move on, questioning our definition of "Soul Mate" and maybe we need to hang out with some people walking our path--check out the Soul Mate Experience at Face Book.

Will we ever be happy if we settle for less than our Twin Flame? Will we be fulfilled. Is it wrong to settle for less than a Twin Flame? 

Obviously I just need to spend a lot of time alone now. Correction, a lot of time. I deserve to be alone; I guess I could say I earned it--I worked for it. How many people can I possibly alienate in a lifetime?

However, I, will become wiser, and I will become an expert in communications whether I have neurological issues or not. In closing, pain is good. I know I am alive. To the Soul Mate fleeing, thank you for reaching through the cyber waves and dimensions, taking my hand, giving me hope, raising me up, dusting me off and breathing life back into my soul. I remember in the beginning--after you woke me up, it was as if I looked around and said, "Ohhhh, this is living. Cool. I will participate." 

...I would be in a deep sleep, wake up, look at my cell phone, then it would ring. I still can't believe we haven't touched, we haven't had a visual--yet, we were so close.  Maybe there is hope for us in the next age, the next dimension. I will never forget you--for we are truly never separate; though your mission seems to be complete with me.

"Empty Chair:-)": I wish you every happiness, peace, and a warm enveloping love. May your all important financial investments give you the satisfaction you seek. 

I'll be fine. I just need to redirect my energies to work, research, volunteer work--someone, somewhere needs me and will appreciate me. I have a lot of love to give, perhaps too much. So, I take it back, I stomp on it and make a paste of it to seal the cracks in my soul.

Oh, wait! I just had a precious awakening via Facebook:-). So, I am off to bathe in more enlightenment...Til Later

PS: Visit me at my Facebook home. You will see that I am amassing a treasure of relationship resources. Hey, I might even make someone a good friend someday. Try me:-)

...Just Wait, the Urge Will Pass. That Simple.

It is SO hard to talk about suicide and suicidal thoughts. We all know, or should know that there are many, many resources available. There are survivors. There are also many broken hearted, grieving friends and family members of those who didn't wait, a few seconds longer. If you can wait until tomorrow, an hour, a minute, a second--and keep waiting, tomorrow doesn't come--tomorrow is always the future. Things change.

If you repeatedly have suicidal thoughts, you need to have a plan of action for the tough times. There are important resources below that will be helpful. One of the most important steps you can take is to get Professional help. It is possible that all you need is medication, and/or some counselling. For Goodness sakes, give yourself a chance

Many times, I have thought if I could have had a conversation with one particular very special person before he passed on; I would have said:

Talk to me, brother.

Things will be different tomorrow, I promise.

If you don't want to talk to me, talk to someone else.

Distract yourself.

Clean something,

Organize something. 

Make something.

Help someone.

Exercise.

Breathe.
Fight!

Pray.
Eat.
Win!

Think about what kinds of plans God may have for you.

Think about places you've always wanted to go...

Your purpose. Maybe there is one person in your lifetime that you are supposed to encounter and help. If that one act is not complete then many other things will remain undone.

What about children you may have--and their children...

See, your life isn't just about you.
If you had waited the future may have shown you changing the world, whether through your own actions or someone your helped, Or, someone you brought into the world. 

In a matter of a few minutes, maybe even a few seconds, this urge will pass.

I promise. I know. In the morning, you will be grateful you waited.

Photo copyright by M. Suzi Woods

Other Resources:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention 

(also on Face Book)

Tips to Outsmart Anxiety 

Learn how to manage and prevent your anxiety.

                                          By Suzie Wolfer LCSW,  Anxiety Relief Tips

Face Book Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Suicide Prevention Tips

Recovery Stories Rock!

“Remember, happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have. 

It depends solely on what you think.” ~ Dale Carnegie

So, why would I irreverently say that recovery stories "Rock"? Well, it could be my recovery, your recovery, or the recovery of a loved one, or the recovery of a stranger--recovery is the the hope for the rest of the world's citizens. I would rather hear a recovery story any day, than another suicide story.    -Suzi-

Julie-Anne's Story

Understanding Depression & Suicide

Note:This writing has been excluded from the copy-write of the book so that you may share it with anyone who you believe may be helped by these words.

...The human brain runs much like a car except that your body automatically produces and fills it up with all of the essential chemicals, hormones, sugar, circuitry, and connectors.

So what happens when the body or the brain is not producing enough of these essential elements?

I’m guessing you’ve all seen movies with people who see or hear things that aren’t there. It’s been proven that this really happens. But sometimes, the signs and signals that the brain doesn’t have the right stuff to run properly are more subtle. Depression is one of these times.

We’ve all felt sad over bad things that have happened, the loss of a friend or loved one or just for no reason at all. Sadness is normal.  Crying, talking, and expressing that sadness are all ways of dealing with it. But when does sadness become something more?

The signs of depression can be subtle at first. You’re tired, you don’t feel like doing things you used to like, you feel lonely or alone even when you’re around other people.  When you start to notice that you’re feeling sad more than you’re feeling happy, pay attention and make a note! This might be a sign that you’re “fluids” are starting to run low or your electrical system has a problem. When these feelings last longer than a week, pay very close attention! This might be a good time to talk to a parent, counselor, or doctor.

Often, we judge ourselves for our depression. We’re angry that we can’t just “think happy thoughts” and make it go away. We sometimes feel like we’ve failed ourselves and we don’t want anyone else to know. When these thoughts start to come, it’s time to really pay attention. It’s possible that our power steering fluid is very low and we no longer have control of the car. The problem is, we don’t know it yet.

In the same way that a car malfunctions when it’s missing something, the brain malfunctions as well. Unfortunately, it’s the only brain we have so there’s no built in mechanic to tell us it’s not functioning as it should.  We continue driving through life, but we’ve lost our steering, our brakes, or even just our GPS.

It’s important to know that thoughts of suicide are NOT normal. While a brief thought may cross everyone’s mind at some point, repeated thoughts, planning, or thinking this is a good idea is a MAJOR red flag that we’re low on something very important! It’s important to pay attention and think to yourself, “my car has never run like this before. The fact that it’s doing so now means the ‘check engine’ light is on and I’m headed directly for the ditch. I need help!” The first thing you need to do is stop the car! The moment you realize you’re giving the option of suicide any serious thought or attention, stop whatever you’re doing and go directly to talk to someone: a friend, family member, counselor, or teacher. The next thing to do is to call in that master mechanic – a doctor. Only a doctor can run the tests to see which fluids are low. It’s not going to be gas or oil; it’s going to be something like serotonin, nor-epinephrine, thyroid, or any one of many other possibilities. The only way to know for sure is to have the car tested. You wouldn’t drive a car if you knew it was unsafe and could kill you. Give your body the same respect.

Whenever we hear of someone who’s tried or committed suicide, we wonder “what could be so bad that they felt taking their life was a better choice.” Unfortunately, when your brain is not getting what it needs to run effectively, EVERYTHING is that bad. You have difficulty solving problems. Even the smallest tasks seem like enormous obstacles.  Sadly, you don’t realize that this is a malfunction that may be fixed with a thorough inspection or tune up. You believe the car is useless and should be junked.

For those of you that know someone suffering from depression, or have known someone who’s attempted or committed suicide, it’s important to know that the “person” doing those things isn’t the same person you know. That person is buried beneath the wreckage of the malfunctioning brain. You think they’re being selfish. Their mind believes they’re doing what’s best for everyone. You can’t understand how they could do this to you, family, friends, etc. They may not even realize you’ll be upset because they can’t think past this horrible dark place of pain. These people do not need our judgment. Trust me they’re doing more than enough judging of themselves for all of us. What they need is understanding, caring, empathy, and help.

I have been to this place. It’s a place that very few people who are still alive have seen.  It’s a place of hopelessness, darkness, sadness, and pain. All you can think of is how to make it end. You believe you’ve failed because you can’t pull yourself out. Sadly, you don’t know that these thoughts are all a result of malfunction. You believe them to be fact and they become the primary focus of your life. If only you’d known it was a malfunction you would have known it was ok to get help. You would have known that having these thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person. You would have known that you don’t have to hide these feelings or be ashamed of them.  If you could have brought these thoughts out into the open, the light would begin to shine on them and the darkness wouldn’t seem so vast.

Before the sunrise, there is just a sliver of light. Just that sliver is enough to bring the world from darkness to light, from night to day. If you know someone who’s in a dark place, offer your hand to pull them into the light. If you’re the one in the darkness, know that morning always comes and that all it takes to bring some light is to open that cell phone and call for help.  I’ve been pulled from the darkness and have been given the rare insight into what it’s like to be there. I believe I was given this gift to educate others and to offer my light whenever possible.  Please do the same and share your light.

Julie-Anne

Julie-Anne's journey is similar to many of ours. Visit her Face Book page and take it from there.

Did you know that Face Book and the National Suicide prevention center have teamed up?                                       Quote of the Day | Julie-Anne's Journey:

'via Blog this'

Note to Google Spyders: The following content is not original from me. It is a Face Book post by the Gottman Institute. What IS original is my interest in the article as I continue my quest for self improvement.

Incidentally, I now consider myself to be rich. Resource rich. A wonderful kind of rich. 

-Gottman-

"Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. Your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine your success and 

happiness in life."  That being said, I will roll up my sleeves and dig in...

Vist the Gottman institute at : Face Book or Gottman.com or the Gottman Blog

Learn more about Don Miguel Ruiz

...

For a person working on communication issues, perhaps the greatest challenge is to "Say Only What You Mean". Perhaps I need to be silent a LOT longer, as figuring out what I really mean can take me awhile. Many times people don't have the patience to listen to me: "Paint the picture, evaluate the positive and negative consequences."

Don Miguel Ruiz on Face Book

Click here to visit an amazing article by 

Dianne M. Cooper, "The Mastery of Love".

Thanks to both Ms Cooper and Don Miquel Ruiz, I have had an intensely valuable day. In site gained in "The Mastery of Love" had to be equivalent to a couple of years of therapy. For those who said, "I need therapy...I have fulfilled. I am very happy and will contemplate "The Mastery of Love" for a long time to come."

Nonverbal Communication – “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words”

I am on a self-improvement quest. I will share my journey here with you. Good Therapy is a treasure that I found today. There are many interesting articles, however one of my personal "fixits" is in communication. Hence, my attention to nonverbal communication.


Nonverbal Communication – “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words”:

'via Blog this'