“Remember, happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have.
It depends solely on what you think.” ~ Dale Carnegie
So, why would I irreverently say that recovery stories "Rock"? Well, it could be my recovery, your recovery, or the recovery of a loved one, or the recovery of a stranger--recovery is the the hope for the rest of the world's citizens. I would rather hear a recovery story any day, than another suicide story. -Suzi-
Julie-Anne's Story
Understanding Depression & Suicide
Note:This writing has been excluded from the copy-write of the book so that you may share it with anyone who you believe may be helped by these words.
...The human brain runs much like a car except that your body automatically produces and fills it up with all of the essential chemicals, hormones, sugar, circuitry, and connectors.
So what happens when the body or the brain is not producing enough of these essential elements?
I’m guessing you’ve all seen movies with people who see or hear things that aren’t there. It’s been proven that this really happens. But sometimes, the signs and signals that the brain doesn’t have the right stuff to run properly are more subtle. Depression is one of these times.
We’ve all felt sad over bad things that have happened, the loss of a friend or loved one or just for no reason at all. Sadness is normal. Crying, talking, and expressing that sadness are all ways of dealing with it. But when does sadness become something more?
The signs of depression can be subtle at first. You’re tired, you don’t feel like doing things you used to like, you feel lonely or alone even when you’re around other people. When you start to notice that you’re feeling sad more than you’re feeling happy, pay attention and make a note! This might be a sign that you’re “fluids” are starting to run low or your electrical system has a problem. When these feelings last longer than a week, pay very close attention! This might be a good time to talk to a parent, counselor, or doctor.
Often, we judge ourselves for our depression. We’re angry that we can’t just “think happy thoughts” and make it go away. We sometimes feel like we’ve failed ourselves and we don’t want anyone else to know. When these thoughts start to come, it’s time to really pay attention. It’s possible that our power steering fluid is very low and we no longer have control of the car. The problem is, we don’t know it yet.
In the same way that a car malfunctions when it’s missing something, the brain malfunctions as well. Unfortunately, it’s the only brain we have so there’s no built in mechanic to tell us it’s not functioning as it should. We continue driving through life, but we’ve lost our steering, our brakes, or even just our GPS.
It’s important to know that thoughts of suicide are NOT normal. While a brief thought may cross everyone’s mind at some point, repeated thoughts, planning, or thinking this is a good idea is a MAJOR red flag that we’re low on something very important! It’s important to pay attention and think to yourself, “my car has never run like this before. The fact that it’s doing so now means the ‘check engine’ light is on and I’m headed directly for the ditch. I need help!” The first thing you need to do is stop the car! The moment you realize you’re giving the option of suicide any serious thought or attention, stop whatever you’re doing and go directly to talk to someone: a friend, family member, counselor, or teacher. The next thing to do is to call in that master mechanic – a doctor. Only a doctor can run the tests to see which fluids are low. It’s not going to be gas or oil; it’s going to be something like serotonin, nor-epinephrine, thyroid, or any one of many other possibilities. The only way to know for sure is to have the car tested. You wouldn’t drive a car if you knew it was unsafe and could kill you. Give your body the same respect.
Whenever we hear of someone who’s tried or committed suicide, we wonder “what could be so bad that they felt taking their life was a better choice.” Unfortunately, when your brain is not getting what it needs to run effectively, EVERYTHING is that bad. You have difficulty solving problems. Even the smallest tasks seem like enormous obstacles. Sadly, you don’t realize that this is a malfunction that may be fixed with a thorough inspection or tune up. You believe the car is useless and should be junked.
For those of you that know someone suffering from depression, or have known someone who’s attempted or committed suicide, it’s important to know that the “person” doing those things isn’t the same person you know. That person is buried beneath the wreckage of the malfunctioning brain. You think they’re being selfish. Their mind believes they’re doing what’s best for everyone. You can’t understand how they could do this to you, family, friends, etc. They may not even realize you’ll be upset because they can’t think past this horrible dark place of pain. These people do not need our judgment. Trust me they’re doing more than enough judging of themselves for all of us. What they need is understanding, caring, empathy, and help.
I have been to this place. It’s a place that very few people who are still alive have seen. It’s a place of hopelessness, darkness, sadness, and pain. All you can think of is how to make it end. You believe you’ve failed because you can’t pull yourself out. Sadly, you don’t know that these thoughts are all a result of malfunction. You believe them to be fact and they become the primary focus of your life. If only you’d known it was a malfunction you would have known it was ok to get help. You would have known that having these thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person. You would have known that you don’t have to hide these feelings or be ashamed of them. If you could have brought these thoughts out into the open, the light would begin to shine on them and the darkness wouldn’t seem so vast.
Before the sunrise, there is just a sliver of light. Just that sliver is enough to bring the world from darkness to light, from night to day. If you know someone who’s in a dark place, offer your hand to pull them into the light. If you’re the one in the darkness, know that morning always comes and that all it takes to bring some light is to open that cell phone and call for help. I’ve been pulled from the darkness and have been given the rare insight into what it’s like to be there. I believe I was given this gift to educate others and to offer my light whenever possible. Please do the same and share your light.
Julie-Anne
Julie-Anne's journey is similar to many of ours. Visit her Face Book page and take it from there.
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